What we is.

[Aaron Burr]

I can do this for every single piece of classical literature ever written you smarmy bastards.



I have just returned from a visit to EvilConservatives.net - the solitary neighbour that I shall nevermore be troubled with. This is certainly a beautiful website! In all the interweb porn box kajigger, I do not believe that I could have fixed on a situation so completely removed from the stir of society. A perfect misanthropist's heaven: and Mr. EvilReagan and I are such a suitable pair to divide the desolation between us. A capital fellow! He little imagined how my heart warmed towards him when I beheld his black eyes withdraw so suspiciously under their brows, as I rode up, and when his fingers sheltered themselves, with a murderous resolution, still farther in his waistcoat, as I announced my name.

With apologies to Emily Bronte

So yeah, I understand there's not a lot here right now. If I weren't such a lazy bastard there would be more goin' on. But they ain't, so either have a little patience or write something amusing yourself.

Bonus points for plagiarism, slanderous accuspicions and whimsical alcohol fueled rants about race baiting preachers and their all consuming lust for domination of the world wide skittles trade.

[Aaron Burr]

"For EvilReagans sake, let us sit upon the ground
And tell sad stories of the death of websites;
How some have been derezzed; some slain in flame wars,
Some haunted by the ghosts they have derezzed;
Some poison'd by their admins: some sleeping erased;
All murder'd: for within the hollow crown
That rounds the mortal temples of a web nerd
Keeps server fees his court and there the antic sits,
Scoffing his interweb pornbox kajigger and grinning at his pomp,
Allowing him a breath, a little scene,
To blogophise, be fear'd and kill with wit,
Infusing him with self and vain conceit,
As if this interweb porn box kajigger which walls about our life,
Were firewalled impregnable, and humour'd thus
Comes at the last and with a little code
Bores through his fire wall, and farewell EvilConservatives.net!"

With apologies to William Shakespeare.

So yeah, I understand there's not a lot here right now. If I weren't such a lazy bastard there would be more goin' on. But they ain't, so either have a little patience or write something amusing yourself.

Bonus points for plagiarism, slanderous accuspicions and whimsical alcohol fueled rants about FedGov employees overpaying for prostitution services on the taxpayers dime.

[Ironsmith]

And there it is folks, now you know why I choose to author this thread in honor of our dear leader: http://www.evilconservatives.net/sho...ghlight=insult

[Aaron Burr]

He was an old man who surfed alone in a room on the World Wide Web and he had gone eighty-four days now without getting a hit. In the first forty days Mrs. EvilReagan had been with him. But after forty days without a hit Mrs. EvilReagans parents had told him that the he was now definitely and finally salao, which is the worst form of unlucky, and Mrs. EvilReagan had gone at their orders to another website which got 3 thousand hits the first week. It made Mrs. EvilReagan sad to see the old man come in each day with his website empty and she always went down to help him carry either the coiled T-1 lines or the monitor or the tower jumbled up at the bottom of the stairs. The site Alexia rating was patched with flour sacks and, furled, it looked like the flag of permanent defeat.

The old man was thin and gaunt with deep wrinkles in the back of his neck. The brown blotches of the benevolent skin cancer the server brings from its high intensity laser reflection on the interwebnets were on his cheeks. The blotches ran well down the sides of his face and his hands had the deep-creased scars from handling heavy web traffic on the internet porn box kajigger. But none of these scars were fresh. They were as old as erosions in a pornless internet desert.

Everything about him was old except his eyes and they were the same color as the router light and were cheerful and undefeated...

With apologies to Earnest Hemingway.



So yeah, I understand there's not a lot here right now. If I weren't such a lazy bastard there would be more goin' on. But they ain't, so either have a little patience or write something amusing yourself.

Bonus points for plagiarism, slanderous accuspicions and whimsical alcohol fueled rants about FedGov employees overpaying for prostitution services on the taxpayers dime.

[Ironsmith]

And those bonus points really add up around here for you newbies. They will open the door to the endangered species appetizer and cocktail lounge, in addition to earning time share slots on the corporate submarine and the luxury Cali condo with a stunning view of the exercise yard located adjacent to Pelican Bay state prison.

I mean who could resist such temptation?

[Aaron Burr]

We're also about secret societies, ominous symbolism, funny pictures and crying babies.

Thanks again to marriedtothesea.com

[Aaron Burr]

But mostly we're into gambling on midget gladiatorial combat.

[Sienn]

Your forgot Thai tranny hookers!

[Ironsmith]

Your forgot Thai tranny hookers!

Pretty sure that's not what he meant by smarmy bastards. But whatever, I mean if that's how "someone" likes to roll then so be it.

The point is, there's room for more at the new poolside bar and we filled the old boring one up with melted cheese and champagne for Fondue night.

[Aaron Burr]

GAAAHHHH!!!!! SHUT THE HELL UP!!! EVERY TIME YOU PEOPLE RESPOND IT'S LIKE THROWING MUD ALL OVER THE MONA LISA!!!!!!

Which under normal circumstances I'm all for. But since I'm trying to set an elefuckingvated tone here, it's distracting.