Treadford

[Aaron Burr]

Today at approximately 20:30 Don't Tread On Me was sighted at this very website....briefly.



This is the most recent contact anyone has had with the elusive big game hunter and mud bog driver extraordinaire since he moved his family Uber North in a futile bid to escape our hated enemy, the Sun. Yes, I know they have long nights up there buddy, but if you had asked I'm sure someone would have pointed out that they have equally long DAYS in Alaska as well.

Anyway, hope this internet message in a bottle finds you and that everything is well up in Santas Village. We're all pulling for you.

Mainly because most of us are too lazy to go up there ourselves and/or can't find Sewards Folly on a map even if we were sober enough to locate a map in the first place. So good luck with the BigFoot hunt. SORR says you should get Santas elves to join your team but I figure those lil' bastards would unionize the first chance they got.

So basically I'm saying we're all looking real hard for elf recipes to send your way...just in case.

[Ironsmith]

Meh, it wasn't him. I stole his old laptop when he came by for a visit last year and every now and then I like to log on and check his banking and credit card balances to see if it's time to make another large ticket item purchase.

All his favorite boards and forums passwords are on the laptop to, so if anyone wants some really choice log in info to a couple porn sites let me know.

[Aaron Burr]

Of course it was him, he's on right now! 23:49 God's time!

[Ironsmith]

First of all, how do you know it's really him? I sold his site log-in and banking info to literally hundreds of people so it could be any one of them.

And I'd be wary of any of them attempting to carry on an impersonation of him, some of those people were real fuggin sketchy.

[Aaron Burr]

I know it's him the same way Linus knows which pumpkin patch the Great Pumpkin will rise up out of.

[Ironsmith]

All I'm saying is watch out for that Yemini Jew I sold his passwords to, that guy is really shifty.

[DONT TREAD ON ME]

I know I've been a little busy up here. We have established a command post up here in Palmer AK.. I forgot how much buying a house sucks, the last time was 16 years ago. Daylight is not in short supply here right now. I am presently in Nome working 7/12hr days so ill check in a little more often. Yes I actually have more time working 84 hrs a week then when I'm home with the crew.

[Ironsmith]

Uh, HEY OLD BUDDY! Sorry bout selling off your info but you werent using it anyway right? Anyway, good to hear from you and hope you and the family are doing well up there.

[Uncle Al]

Palmer? That's only about 10 miles from Palinville!
Used to be Wasilla. My late ex-brother-in-law used to be in the good ol' boy network there before Sarah moved in and "cleaned up."

[Ironsmith]

There's (was?) a good ol' boy network there? That explains Treadfords relocation for profiteering, he must have insider information to the areas treasure.

I assumed he went for the good of his family, but his devious plan has been exposed thanks to the sage wisdom of Uncle Al. He's holding out valuable information from us and intends to horde all the treasure and wealth.