Oh Lawd these things are awesome!!!

[Ironsmith]

2,400 thats right, count 'em 2,400 volts of handheld rage and discontent at your fingertips that can instantly send pretty much any creeping, crawling, or flying abomination into the multi-segmented afterlife they so richly deserve! Just this morning I saw a Wolf Spider over 3" in diameter on the drapes near the head of my bed. Now I don't normally do them harm, but when I find them in the house it's a bit different. One day a few years ago I was putting my shoes on (no socks) to go outside to retrieve something from the Caddy. It was only after I had completely laced up my shoes that I realized one of my toes wasn't alone in there. I had to wage battle on a huge Wolf Spider with my naked toes and somehow managed to squash it without getting bit. Oh the horror...

Not today though! I grabbed my electric flyswatter and just touched it to the spider. WHAPPPP!!! With a visible electric arc and a sound like a starter pistol, the huge spider was instantly dispatched and fell to the floor (near my shoes) in a crumpled mass! No skittering under the bed, no hopping around trying to get some payback, just Tango Uniform DRT. Even stank a little, kinda like a mixture of scorched illegal aliens and some singed squatch hair. Best $4 bucks I ever spent at Harbor Freight!

Got some wasps out on the porch that need to atone for their transgressions, get your's soon!

[Mr. T]

Those things are great. Try throwing a sheet over your head and wake up some passed out bumb on a sidewalk while leaving a waffle sized tattoo on his cheek with it. The damn bumb will $$$$ himself.

[Ironsmith]

My God, the bum fight possibilities for these are endless, not to mention the recreational fun people can have with homeless street urchins.

[Uncle Al]

These would be handy on an airplane next to unruly children (or unruly adults for that matter). I bet you could waltz right through security with one.

[Ironsmith]

Huh, maybe I will take a commercial flight this year. I wonder what the odds of them actually letting me board a plane are these days?

[spirit of Ronald Reagan]

Hell, why not sit on the streets with a pocket full of nickels and hand them out to any stew bum willing to do this.



Think they'll notice we're handing out wooden nickels and not real ones?

[Ironsmith]

Ugh. The gene pool is getting shallower every day.

[Uncle Al]

Heh! The ad that appeared at the end of the Tongue Boy video was for the Chevy Volt.

[Ironsmith]

UPDATE -DO NOT, and I mean just don't even think about trying to see if the spark will jump from the swatter to a loaded pistol cartridge.

I assure you that it in fact will, and they seem to prefer to jump right to the primer for some reason.

[Aaron Burr]

Wait, are you trying to say that electricity and gunpowder should not be mixed?

Kids, don't listen to the crazy old man with the Debils flyswatter. Pound as many bullets as you can into the wall outlet and then flip the light switch. Something scientifically intriguing is bound to happen at some point. Remember, it took Edison over a thousand attempts to create the light bulb. Don't quit just because you fail on the first attempt...or get caught. Everyone knows success takes 99% perspiration and something like half a percent of gasoline and some other junk, like inspiration and possibly a handy alibi.

Try soaking the bullets in the petrol first. See if that works.

Love, Aaron.