I have come here seeking Aaron Burr.

[Frank Turkelton]

He has become legend. A man of Folklore.
Men tell their grandkids stories about the Liberal uprising that Aaron Burr helped to smash.
Men were fired,rehired,fired and eventually mocked mercilessly.
Petitions were burned.
Lanyards were sold.
I was proud to fight alongside him.
People ask about him. I have come to find this man....who actually has been here the whole time as it turns out.

[Ironsmith]

Look Frank, there's alot of people around here looking for Burr. Some of them are bill collector's, some of 'em are idealistic impressionable youth looking for guidance.

But whatever, the point is most of us here rarely get up much before noon and when we do we just start drinking scotch and making fun of poor people that much earlier in the day. Tomorrow were all going to pile up in the golf cart and go have brunch, complain about the heat and definitely miss our tee time cause who really has the energy to swing a club anyways?

So feel free to join us, and keep your enthusiasm to a bare minimum. Can't have you showing up the other lazy bastards around here your first week on the job.

[Aaron Burr]

All hail the unstoppable might of Frank Turkleton.

Yes, it is true internet wanderer. I did help smash peoples lives, reputations and political careers. It was I that sent the state of Wisconsin, the DNC and several public unions into a months long panic attack. I am the one who has caused more suicides than a midnight showing of Eraserhead.

Since then I have been busy shipping weapons overseas. Whether to support some legitimate government or an insurgency, I'm not sure. It's really not my job to care. The point is, all that came to a screeching halt due to the birth of my daughter, the future president of these United States, Nebraska Jones.

Please send my regards to the lost tribes of the internets and assure them that I may or may not return in 6 weeks.

That totally depends on how many come by to say hello.

In the interim, I hope all goes well for you my friend. Just remember, if you ever need help with voter fraud, ballot box stuffing, and/or politically orientated 'contract work', you know where to find me.

Love,

Aaron

[Mr. T]

Frank, if you dont like scotch hook up with SORR for some of that shine that just came in on last weeks shipment to the clubhouse.

[spirit of Ronald Reagan]

Whoops, was I supposed to share? Guess we got to see if we can convince the mountain folk to fire up the stills again.

[Zonga]

Six weeks? Does this involve Get Well Soon cards? Or get out of jail free cards?

[spirit of Ronald Reagan]

Probably more along the lines of; hey buddy wake up, you passed out in my shrubbery again.

[Ironsmith]

No worries Bro, I wont forget to hook up your commissary account this time. I swear I took the cops the money the last time, they just never gave me a receipt for it ya know?

[Mr. T]

cash is always king

[spirit of Ronald Reagan]

Meat clever to the base of the spine does a pretty good job as well.