This is outrageous!

[Ironsmith]

Just got off the phone with those fat lazy bastards at Maybach, I mean most of the time it's pretty hard to converse with them but today was painful. Between the gnashing of teeth while the rotund bastard swallowed giant olives filled with virgin tears and gin, and the hookers screaming in the background for more platters of bbq'ed immigrant loins all I could get out of them was "No way, we can't build that."

Build what you ask? Why a jewel encrusted, diamond buckled car seat for Nebraska Jones of course! I mean when you want opulence for a new born, you turn to those slovenly bastards at Maybach to have such creations made for you. But no, not anymore!

My next call is to Northrop Grumman and the local Jew diamond peddler to see what they can offer up.

[spirit of Ronald Reagan]

I gave up on Maybach when they wouldn't consider replacing the headlights with flame throwers.

[Aaron Burr]

Let me save you a dime. Ferrari has nothing either.

However, it looks like I can get one in Dubai.

[Ironsmith]

Let me save you a dime. Ferrari has nothing either.

However, it looks like I can get one in Dubai.

I swear, this is just fugging horrific trying to get a new born the goods to roll like a proper EC these days without going out of the country to source it. It's all Obama's fault!

[Uncle Al]

Well, we know from all the James Bond movies last month that Aston Martin cars are highly compatible with after-market weapons systems. Although not quite as high up there as Maybach, Aston Martin is still a high-end label. Very nice, fast, luxurious cars.

I did, however, get over my lust for an ejector seat when I split with my starter wife.

[Ironsmith]

Well, initially I considered having her car seat equipped with a phased plasma rifle in the 40 watt range capable of taking out buildings or heavy armored vehicles but decided Meh, Burr has a few spares laying around let's just go all in and put the dollars into bling.

But whatever, I tried to get those gin swillers at Astin Martin on the phone today and some lackey answered the phone going on and on about them now being Seventh Day Adventists and not working on Saturday anymore.

Me -"Really, Seventh Day Adventists -Seriously?" -Click.

[Zonga]

So you never heard of Tiffany & Co.?

Give her a couple 24k bangle bracelets until you figure out the car seat.

[Ironsmith]

So you never heard of Tiffany & Co.?

Give her a couple 24k bangle bracelets until you figure out the car seat.

Seriously? They maintain an indoor climate controlled parking spot for me, complete with bathroom facilities and a stocked mini fridge.

[Aaron Burr]

I can't stand her music, why would I let her accessorize my kid?

[Zonga]

Wait, what? Tiffany & Co don't sing, they sell super expensive jewelry that comes in expensive blue boxes. Yes, you have to pay extra for the box, so get a really big one. You can add wheels and a 12V battery later.