Another Bigfoot thread

[Ironsmith]

Or, what has really happened to Treadford? I know, he and the family are supposed to be residing in the North living the extraordinary life of white people far removed from the claws of the government Debil, or something. But anyway's, how do we know for sure that his family is really safe, and they weren't taken out by a Bigfoot family that stole their identities?

I mean it's freezing cold up there all the time, who would really know? Some Bigfoot identity thieves could blend right in.

[Mr. T]

I doubt it that bigfoot has taken ole Treadford hostage or anything. We drove up to the compound and we were greeted at the gate with this sign.

[Ironsmith]

I dunno man, that Bigfoot I was hanging out with spoke the King's English and was masterful with the written word. He mentioned something about working the system for a free education as a foreign exchange student with pretty mediocre grades, or something.

[DONT TREAD ON ME]

I don't think that any squach would be comfortable up here. There are a very large amount of predator like critters up in these parts. Just yesterday my coworkers wife was awakened in the middle of the night by there 150 pound rottie barking at the sliding glass door. She went to see what was going on and saw a wolf nose to nose with there dog.

[Uncle Al]

Wolves are kinda cool in a theoretical way. But if I saw one anywhere near me I'd kill it. SSS, y'know.

[Aaron Burr]

Sooo...Bigfoot is really a wuss because he can't compete with real animals like wolves and bears and junk. Hmmm. Kinda' makes me wonder why the Hell I've been totin' a Winchester all these years when apparently a fuggin' blowgun will do the trick.

Ah well, maybe I'll come across a manticore or something and make all that hard work finally pay off.

Also, as always, it's a pleasure to see you Treadford. I think of you often, stationed up there at Ice Station America, with no more than some high explosives and a 50 gallon drum of Olde English 800 to see you through the harsh winter. You've never watched The Shining by chance have you?

Anyway. Bigfoot or not, you're pretty much living the American Dream. Except for the frozen nipple part. I'm sure it feels way less sexy than it sounds.

[Ironsmith]

Epicness, is the direction I predict this thread is heading. -Or not, I mean who really knows right? The point is I'm not handing out any guarantees on directions unless it involves getting to the liquor store and the pharmacy and back in an eight hour day.

But frozen nipples and 50 gallons of OE, the "other" guys don't have that. New Islam, that's ours to. Bigfoot threads with Ninjas and lazers, you only get that here.

[Uncle Al]

Drone Blimp to Hunt Bigfoot!

(But, as The Register notes, this "could be a shaggy Sasquatch story".)

From the article:

An Idaho scientist is planning on trying a new tack to hunt down the elusive Bigfoot, which is thought by some to inhabit the wild forests of America, by using a blimp.

Jeffrey Meldrum, an anatomy and anthropology professor at Idaho State University, is looking to raise $300,000 to build a remote-controlled airship armed with a thermal imaging camera that will be used to float above the forests and find the hairy beast, which Meldrum believes exists.

"The challenge with any animal that is rare, solitary, nocturnal, and far-ranging in habitat is to find them and observe them in the wild; this technology provides for that," Meldrum told Reuters.

Meldrum, who authored the book Sasquatch: Legend Meets Science, insists the Bigfoot story is worthy of scientific investigation, and he has examined as much evidence as he can about the creature. He believes Bigfoot could be an ape which migrated to the US via the Bering Strait at around the same time that humans crossed over and spread across the Americas.

This item was posted in The Register's science area, so it must be real because...because...it's SCIENCE!

Meldrum has faced ridicule from his scientific peers for his investigations into the Bigfoot phenomenon, but essentially he's trying to apply scientific method to the issue of whether or not the creature exists. During his career he had published many papers on primate bipedal locomotion before getting involved in Sasquatch-related shenanigans.
...
Idaho State University has approved Meldrum's work on the project, although he'll have to find funding [est. $300,000] for the blimp himself.

Professor Meldrum

[Ironsmith]

Great, now I get to cross Space Shuttle door gunner off my bucket list and replace it with this. I mean how cool would it be to throw back a few cocktails while drifting along overhead hunting Bigfoot with a belt fed Ma Deuce?

Seems we have some new credible sightings this month as well.

[Uncle Al]

It would have to be cool enough to throw back a few cocktails while drifting along in your easy chair. Double Old Fashioned glass in left hand, joy stick in right hand with your thumb on the BANG! button. The project is for a drone blimp - all humans stay on the ground. I'm with you, though. I'd love to get a little blimp time.