I've been looking for inspiration for the new fall line. Plus, I'm getting pretty sick of the old islam. It's time for a newer, funcentric, less death obsessed form of islam. Hence, NEW ISLAM. Our Prophet is Ric. (PBUH) Some guy in it for beer money. And a donkey. Which is cool by me. I don't need Cheetos stains all over the interior of the Impala. It's also refreshing to have a decidedly upfront messianic figure. No parsing words with Ric the Prophet. So far he's demanded costumes and lasers for all his followers. Who could be against costumes and lasers? Fuggin' George Lucas craps in a diamond studded toilet because of that very premise.
Anyway, in the finest tradition of religious chroniclers worldwide, I've interpreted his Holy Words to mean that I should print up some swag to sell. Hence, the new fall line of NEW ISLAM totally collectable and genuinely blessed crap. Hell, we already sell the bacon grease and shredded koran votive candles, let's just pretend they're new and part of New Islam, so all we need to do is come up with some incomprehensible and self conflicting, gibberish filled screed.
Hop to it.
I dunno', just do like we always do and go get some NyQuil and wait for inspiration to hit.
The point is, it's time we destroy the old, stabby brand of islam and replace it with something more Profitable. wink wink. It's time we went head to head with the nation of islam for some of that free flowing, government subsidized 'charitable donation' folding money. Why should Farrakhan and space muhammed get all the glory while Ric and his message of lasers and costumed creativity languish in obscurity?
No my friends, if there must be Armageddon with the intolerant fundamentalists, we're going to be the ones enjoying a ham sammich in the aftermath.
New Islam for the win times infinity.
There, now it's official. Game on.