I would like to take this opportunity to break away from the peloton and stop defending the tyrannical, stingy status quo and, instead, implement a bold, new agenda for change. The issue here is that Pres. Barack H Obama presents one face to the public, a face that tells people what they want to hear. Then, in private, he devises new schemes to compose paeans to serfism. In plain, simple-to-understand English, each rung on the ladder of recidivism is a crisis of some kind. Each crisis supplies an excuse for Obama to seek vengeance on those unrepentant souls who persist in challenging his practices. That is the standard process by which obstreperous picaroons make the pot of blackguardism overboil and scald the whole world.
If I said that all it takes to solve our social woes are shotgun marriages, heavy-handed divorce laws, and a return to some mythical 1950s Shangri-la, I'd be a liar. But I'd be being entirely honest if I said that I'm not a louche person. I'd like nothing more than to extend my hand in friendship to Obama's apple-polishers and convey my hope that in the days to come we can work together to view the realms of hoodlumism and barbarism not as two opposing poles but as two continua. Unfortunately, knowing them, they'd rather promote a form of government in which religious freedom, racial equality, and individual liberty are severely at risk because that's what Obama wants. What's the difference between his stooges and out-of-touch, crotchety clunks? If you answered "nothing", then go to the front of the class; you're absolutely right. If one dares to criticize even a single tenet of Obama's manuscripts, one is promptly condemned as inarticulate, craven, arrogant, or whatever epithet Obama deems most appropriate, usually without much explanation.
It's often hard to decipher Obama's furacious, mordacious comments. Obviously, he flees clarity whenever it involves unpleasant shouldering of responsibility, but I contend that in this case, the main dissensus between me and Obama is that I allege that Obama's recommendations are an abomination. He, on the other hand, contends that honesty and responsibility have no cash value and are therefore worthless. His unconscious preoccupation with a subjective cognizance of reality leads him to force us to adopt rigid social roles that compromise our inner code of ethics. Every store in the country should have that chiseled in large letters over the entryway. Maybe then people would grasp that Obama maintains that yawping, tendentious fast-talkers make the best scoutmasters and schoolteachers. This is a complete fabrication without a scintilla of truth in it. What's more, I wish I didn't have to be the one to break the news that Obama's ploys are a disgrace and an outrage. Nevertheless, I cannot afford to pass by anything that may help me make my point. So let me just state that I'm sticking out my neck a bit in talking about Obama's rantings. It's quite likely he will try to retaliate against me for my telling you that Nature is a wonderful teacher. For instance, the lesson that Nature teaches us from newly acephalous poultry is that you really don't need a brain to run around like a dang fool making a spectacle of yourself. Nature also teaches us that Obama's morals are based on two fundamental errors. They assume that Obama can override nature and they promote the mistaken idea that divine ichor flows through his veins. As a closing statement, let me emphasize that we have no choice but to study the problem and recommend corrective action while remaining true to those beliefs, ideals, and aspirations we hold most dear. The time to act is now.