Something Constructive...er.

[Aaron Burr]

If I had my druthers I'd be talking about Greece and how this whole yurro fiasco, Greek debt crisis and imminent collapse of Western Yurrup could have been averted if Greece had sold one of it's uninhabited islands to Germany so they could develop it for tourism. Don't take my word on it. I'm simply quoting Angela Merkle. She's this pump cafeteria lady that's currently running...what are we on? Reich number 4? 5? Anyway, she's pretty much running Yurrup because the Germans are industrious and the Greeks are lazy. And that's pretty much why I'm not talking about how much Greece is full of suck and ground up oyster shells. We did all this last year, and the year before that when all that was going on was Angela Merkle taunting the Greeks for not handling their debt or accepting any offers of financial help in order to stave off a possible threat to the currency unifying Yurrup.

So anyway, I was talking to this guy in a bar about the best way to carve up a horse for eatin'. The conversation turned this way and that and eventually I asked this fellow why he would want to eat a horse in the first place. He explained that they looked really cool and ran really fast, could pull a buggy and a plow and even let itself be ridden every once in a while, so something that awesome must be the best thing for eating, ever. I explained to the fellow that I knew about the horse in question and that it was a most useful and amazing animal indeed but that if he ate the poor beast, it wouldn't be able to do any of that neat stuff anymore. My line of reasoning didn't seem to appeal to the fellow as he set to tying a bib around his neck and then commenced to sharpening his bowie knife with...his other bowie knife.

Now I ask you, at what point would it be permissible pistol whip this stupid, lazy and greedy Greek son of a b!tch for being greedy, lazy and a stupid son of a b!tch? I'm just asking for this German friend of mine.

But there, I went slipped the Greek debt crisis in there when I was clearly trying to make a different point.

So let's concentrate on Bollywood instead. You all know how much I love Bollywood. I mean here's this country with no discernible exports other than P.H.D's in medicine and a surplus population numbering in the billions. What to do? Well, if you WERE GREECE YOU'D JUST LAY DOWN WITH YOUR F*CKING HAND OUT WOULDN'T YOU? But being Indians they decided to film a few hundred thousand full Broadway style musical productions instead in order to supplement their national income based on call center revenues. I mean anything besides dragging down all of your neighbors because YOU'RE TOO FUGGIN' LAZY TO BE A PRODUCTIVE NATION. Right?

So let's just take a break and enjoy some Bollywood junk.



Just ignore the fact that the lil' lady is dressed in red white and blue and is holding the eternal flame of liberty.

In fact just forget I ever mentioned Bollywood and how much I love Indian food compared to Greek food. The point is I was going somewhere with this but was waylaid by some Greek bandits trying to stick me for my paper. Yeah, it's true. These lazy insufferable Greek bastards are costing us precious American money. So you can see why I'm all interested in taking these fuggin' idiots to task. But why ruin a perfectly good front page article on Greece?

I hear there's some sort of political shenanigans going on right here at here at home. But before I forget, http://www.breitbart.com/article.php...show_article=1 that's something about lazy old Greek people. I was going to rant about something else entirely, but as you can see from that inflammatory and salacious article, I had to get a few things off my chest.

[Aaron Burr]

It has come to my attention that the preceding Sterno fueled rant, which I have absolutely no memory of writing and therefore can disavow at any point, might possibly be construed as being "unfairly derogatory towards the Greek people."

Seriously, I'm quoting an email.

So I went back and read the piece and decided that it was funny as Hell, the Bollywood number fantastic and the linked article sufficiently something or other to warrant whatever scurrilous allegations I leveled at the Greek country....and it's food.

So not only do I stand by what I wrote, I plan on further excoriating the Greeks for their aversion to indoor plumbing.

And some other junk. These guys are really starting to p!ss me off.

[AQuaintLife]

I say keep it up. It makes the Polish look good.

[Zonga]

[Uncle Al]

It has come to my attention that the preceding Sterno fueled rant, which I have absolutely no memory of writing and therefore can disavow at any point, might possibly be construed as being "unfairly derogatory towards the Greek people."

Well, what you said was unmistakably derogatory towards the Greek people, and so the question boils down that one word "unfairly."

Give me a fornicating break! Of course it was fair! The Greeks have been borrowing money from anyone they could con - even themselves and their children as yet unborn - and spending it all on retsina and lamb sushi. Sort of.

Now the loan shark enforcers are coming around saying, "Pay up or we'll kneecap you deadbeats." (I tried to google-translate that but google gagged.) And the Greeks are all moaning and griping "but everyone's doin' it!" While that may be true (it is true), all that means is that there's going to be a whole lot of kneecapping going on in the near future.

I ask you, is that any reason to let the Greeks off the hook? Of course not!

...So not only do I stand by what I wrote, I plan on further excoriating the Greeks for their aversion to indoor plumbing...

Good for you! Stand your ground! (Just not the ground the Greeks use for...never mind.)